Don't Drink and Try to Jump Over Fences.


So, I was hanging out this weekend with some friends, drinking casually, and having fun, when I did something I still can't even understand. In an act of drunken randomness, I thought it was within my ability to jump with ease over a nearly five foot high metal gate around an outdoor hot tub. I also failed to realize something very important about the section of the gate I was trying to jump over: It was an unlocked swinging door. Without hesitation, I ran for it, jumped, and almost got my feet over it... but not quite. And as I landed on it, the gate swung open, leaving me falling forward onto cement right on my ass and hitting my chin on the gate on the way down. Certainly being drunk eased a lot of the pain at the time, and I think I somehow even found it funny then. But now, several days later, my ass is still bruised and it hurts to sit down. I'm guessing I fell about 7 feet straight onto it. Then my very sympathetic friends threw me in the hot tub. All of you who did that: YOU SUCK!

I think the only way I can rationally look back at my stupidity is to categorize it as a learning experience. It reinforced three important things in my mind:
1. Being drunk does not give you super powers.
2. Don't do stupid things if you're drinking.
3. White boys really can't jump.

-Greg
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